I don't think I'm cool anymore. I sometimes feel cool internally, but I catch glimpses of myself and think, 'not cool'. I'm flabby here and there, and a good bit gray between color jobs, and am slightly puffy. I spend a lot of time thinking about work, and about how to be a better mom, and what needs to be done around the house, but none of these make me 'cool'.
I was at a work meeting a few months ago with our director of libraries. A lovely, mild-mannered little gray man with wire-frame glasses, and I overheard him telling someone he had been at Woodstock. He did NOT look cool enough to have been at Woodstock! But somewhere buried under the gray and glasses was a hot young rocking guy who partied down, man! I'm sure he was completely in touch with his younger self, and wondered often, WTF happened? Where did the cool guy go?
So does cool = young? I guess so. So many young kids are not cool though - they are stupid and loud and bossy. This generation seems to be over-confident and under-curious! Wah wah wah. Don't I sound cool? I feel like I could teach them a thing or two about cool but they would laugh out loud. Or maybe LOL. :-(
I also worry that while I still try and pull off the cool look, soon I'll start looking ridiculous. I have a couple of pairs of cool boots and some skinny black jeans I wear. For now, I hope I at least qualify for MILF status (Mother I'd Like To Fu*k, FYI). [MILF and DILF is the Baby Boomers way of being cool with aging, I think]. One day soon though, I just won't be able to do it anymore. I'm 48. How does a 58 year-old pull off 'the look'? Beats the crap out of me. Just be sure to pull me aside when the time comes and tell me gently that it ain't working for me anymore. It'll be time to start getting the hair done at Sears.
The only times that I feel cool now is when I'm listening to good music. Joe and I got to go see Green Day a couple of months ago, and it was COOL! We never sat down, and bopped and rocked all night. BUT, before we went we stopped at the CVS and bought EAR PLUGS (I kid you not!) Not cool.
I like to think I'll be cool again when I retire. Maybe I'll smoke a big fatty from time to time and grow my hair long and gray and be the crazy old lady on the street who says the "F" word to the neighborhood kids and to the dogs who shit in her yard. Is that cool? Sounds more sad (or annoying) than cool. Sheesh - I don't know. Is it too late for me, do you think? Are we ever going to be cool again?
